


Two Weeks Notice

by barbaXcarisi (barbaXbenson)



Category: Law & Order: SVU
Genre: Alternate Universe - Romantic Comedy, Developing Relationship, Fluff, M/M, Two Weeks Notice AU
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-15
Updated: 2018-02-03
Packaged: 2019-03-05 08:46:16
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 17,429
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13384284
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/barbaXbenson/pseuds/barbaXcarisi
Summary: “This case looks promising, and I’m willing to take it on, if you do something for me.” Rafael fixed him with the look he used when sitting across from opposing counsel and Sonny’s cheeks turned pink.“Um...what did you have in mind? Because I’m not really sure that--”“I want you to come work for me."





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Posting this first chapter as motivation for me to keep working on it. Who knows how long this beast will end up being?
> 
> If you recognize any of the dialogue/situations, they're not mine. 
> 
> Hope you enjoy!

“Ms. Calhoun!” Sonny called out enthusiastically as he took the steps from the basement two at a time. The small Legal Aid office was cramped, holding three desks when there was really only room for two, and with his long legs he made it to Rita’s desk in only a few strides.

“Yes, what is it, Mr. Carisi?” Rita asked, gesturing apologetically to the elderly woman who sat at the desk beside her. “Please excuse the interruption, Mrs. Moretti.”

“Yes, I’m sorry.” Sonny dipped his head sheepishly before turning back to Rita. “But I was looking over Mrs. Moretti’s lease like you asked and I thought maybe I should check to see if we had any other clients who dealt with that landlord, so I went down to the records room and-”

“Today, Mr. Carisi,” Rita encouraged.

“Well, turns out, we’ve had several complaints against them, mostly for not giving proper notice on rent increases, evicting tenants when they can’t pay, and then backdating the notices. If we can get enough tenants to agree to participate, I think we have enough for a class action.”

Rita looked warily at Mrs. Moretti, who seemed to perk up at this, and stood, gesturing for Sonny to follow her to the corner of the room, lowering her voice so it didn’t carry through the small space. “I appreciate your enthusiasm, Mr. Carisi, but we simply don’t have the resources here to tackle something of that size. The entire organization would be bankrupt before we even got near a courtroom.”

Sonny’s face fell and she hated discouraging him. He was so eager to use the law to do good and it spoke volumes that he chose to volunteer here when most other law students interned at big, corporate firms. “But,” she continued, “it was a great catch and hopefully we can use this to help Mrs. Moretti keep her apartment.”

Sonny’s expression brightened at that. At least he’d been able to help someone. That’s all he ever wanted to do.

* * *

“I’ll have the minestrone to start, and then I’ll do the Carbonara with a side salad. Oh, and can we also get an order of garlic knots, please?” His best friend, Amanda, eyed him incredulously from across the table as the waiter left to put in their order. “What?”

“That’s a lot, even for you,” she said, taking a sip of her iced tea.

“It’s this class action suit. It could really help these people, you know?” Sonny sighed, shaking his head. “I just wish I already had my law license, then I’d figure it out, but none of the lawyers at Legal Aid will take it on.”

“Can’t you find someone else? Don’t the bigger law firms have pro bono budgets?” Amanda suggested.

“Usually, but I don’t think I can just walk in with a case and get them to take it.”

“Why not?”  Sonny didn’t answer as the waiter dropped off his soup and Amanda allowed him to take a bite, trying not to smirk when he burned his tongue, before repeating, “Why not?”

Sonny took a sip of his water, trying to sooth his stinging tastebuds. “I don’t have any connections anywhere. I probably wouldn’t even get anyone to agree to speak with me.”

Amanda shrugged. “If you really care about making it happen, you’ll find a way.”

* * *

Sonny sighed when he finally walked into his tiny studio apartment later that night. Dropping his keys on his coffee table/kitchen table/desk and letting the messenger bag full of books slip from his shoulder, he pulled out his phone to find that he had a voicemail, probably having gotten the call when he was on the subway.

He put it on speakerphone, letting it play as he shrugged out of his jacket and took in the contents of his near-empty refrigerator.

“Hi, Sonny, it's Aria. I'm sorry, but I'm not gonna make it back for your birthday. We got a lot of new trainees onboard and they put the green in Greenpeace. But I'm saving whales and thinking of you. Love you.”

Sighing again, heavier this time, he let the refrigerator door fall closed and picked up his phone again, dialing the familiar number. “Hi, Mr. Wong. It’s Sonny Carisi. I’m good, how are you?” He knew he could order his food online and he always did when it was from anywhere else, but he liked Mr. Wong and had been ordering from his place for years. He thought it’d be rude at this point to simply send an impersonal Seamless order.

“I wouId like a number...a number fou--, number five. No. Number seven? Seven. Can I get the number four without the garlic sauce? Okay, and then maybe two orders of number nine. And....Yes, it's for one. And that's it. No! Give me a number eight. Give me two number eights. Okay. Okay. Okay. Bye.”

Later, while eating from his own Chinese buffet and reviewing notes from that evening’s class, he kept getting distracted by his conversation with Amanda over lunch that afternoon. Finally, pushing his notes aside and opening up his laptop, he pulled up Google, typing in _New York law firm pro bono._

* * *

“I speak for the entirety of Benson, Buchanan, and Hassler when I say that the firm is honored to be given the hospital’s Donor of the Year Award,” Rafael Barba repeated to the fifth reporter in thirty minutes.

“Why is pediatrics so important to your firm?” The reporter held out his iPhone, the voice recorder running, and Rafael found himself wondering when pen and paper became completely obsolete.

“Well, feet are very important aren’t they?” He asked with a charming grin, before patting the guy on the shoulder. “I’m kidding, I know there’s more to pediatrics than feet.”

The reporter looked confused as Rafael slipped away, tugging at his bowtie, and wondering how much longer he had to be here before he’d fulfilled his obligation. He’d barely grabbed a flute of champagne off of a passing tray before there was a hand on his arm.

“Mr. Barba?”

He turned to find an attractive young man, tall with brown hair and a look of pure admiration in his hazel eyes. “Yes?”

“I’m so sorry to bother you, and this is a little embarrassing, but would you mind signing my Time Out?” It was only then that Rafael noticed the copy of Time Out New York in the man’s hands and his smile faltered a bit. Not only because that issue had been published five years prior and it was kind of creepy that the guy had been carrying it around, hoping to run into him, but because that thing had been haunting him for the last half of a decade.

“Um, sure,” Rafael said charitably even though he was feeling anything but, taking the magazine and scrawling his signature beneath the headline: **New York’s Toughest (And Hottest!) Attorneys**

“Thanks so much!” The man gushed. “I actually wanted to ask you if-”

“I’m sorry,” Rafael cut him off, relieved to see a familiar face in the crowd, even if he wasn’t sure what he was doing there. “There’s someone I must speak with.”

“What are you doing in here? Besides raiding the food?” He looked pointedly at the small plate of appetizers his driver, Fin, held in his hand.

“You used the feet joke didn’t you?” Fin ignored the question.

“Maybe.” Rafael snagged a crab puff from Fin’s plate, sticking the whole thing in his mouth at once.

Fin shook his head. “You know it’s going to be all over the internet that you don’t know the difference between feet and children?”

“I highly doubt anyone actually cares about anything I say.” He took a sip of champagne to wash down the dry puff.

“Everything goes viral these days, especially people who say and do dumb things.”

“Was there something you needed?” Rafael asked pointedly.

“Yeah, Olivia wants to see you.”

“Tonight? You’re kidding. First she makes me come to this stupid thing in her place and now she wants me to schlep all the way uptown on her whim? No, I’m not a dog that she can just whistle for and I’ll heel.” Fin just stared at him, knowing he was full of it. “Fine. Bring the car around.”

* * *

“Olivia, I don’t appreciate being summoned, especially when I’m downtown schmoozing so you don’t have to,” Rafael said without preamble, as soon as Olivia opened the door to her apartment.

“Barba, if you wake up my kid you’ll be going to every fundraiser for every charity the firm donates to until the day you retire.” Her voice was calm and even.

Rafael highly doubted that Noah would ever hear him, tucked away in the massive recesses of this duplex, but didn’t say so. He was an argumentative ass, but he wasn’t stupid. “Anyway,” he said, the volume of his voice lower just to appease her. “What did you need?”

“I wanted to tell you in person that I fired your legal secretary this afternoon.” She walked into the large open kitchen and he followed, watching as she poured a glass of wine from an already open bottle.

“Again?” he asked as she got out another another glass for him without asking; she knew full well he never turned down booze.

“She somehow managed to get into the firm’s master calendar and deleted every appointment. I missed an important client meeting and had to do some major ass kissing to make up for it. You know how much I hate ass kissing.” She looked at him over her wine glass. “Can you please stop hiring vapid imbeciles?”

“That’s quite judgemental of you, Liv.” He hid a grin by taking his own sip of wine. “Just because one person makes a mistake.”

“One person? No, there was Eleanor, the model you slept with, who somehow managed to catch the coffee pot on fire. There was Brad, the model you slept with, who would only work between the hours of 2pm and 4pm. Then there was Haley, the model you slept with, who-”

“Okay, you’ve made your point.” Rafael held up a hand. “I’ll hire someone better.”

“Use a real temp agency this time instead of the modeling agency you’ve been using and you might have better results. And someone with a little bit of legal knowledge would be a nice change of pace.”  She said it cheerfully, like it was merely a friendly suggestion, but he knew better. “Oh, and I’d really prefer you try not to sleep with the next one. Janet in HR is about to tear her hair out.”

“I’ll do my best, but I’m a weak man, Liv,” he said pitifully, finishing off his wine.

“God knows that’s true.”

* * *

“Mr. Barba!” Sonny jumped up from the bench where he’d been waiting outside of the towering building that held the Benson, Buchanan, and Hassler offices. He tossed his coffee cup in a trash can as he rushed to keep up with Barba, who was making his way toward a town car at the curb. “Mr. Barba, my name is Sonny Carisi and if I could just speak with you for a moment about possibly taking on a pro bono case.”

Fin, who was holding the back door of the car open for Barba, stepped forward and held out a hand. “Whoa there, buddy.”

“No, Fin, it’s okay.” Rafael assured him, turning just inside the car door to face Sonny. He took in the wrinkled blue button down and polyester tie in an obnoxious pattern that he couldn’t even name. “Are you a lawyer?”

“No, but I’m a law student, night school, and I came upon this possible class action and I just need a licensed lawyer to help me with it.”

“And you came to me because?” Rafael asked, intrigued.

“Um, well, Langan & Kressler refused to see me and I’ve been asked never to return to the offices of Heller, D’Angelo, and Taft.” There was something endearing in the way his ears pinked up at this admission, but Rafael rolled his eyes and started to duck into the car. “Wait! It was also your Time Out article.”

Rafael sighed, standing up and leaning a forearm on the top of the car door. “What about it?”

“You said that you became a lawyer because you wanted to help people. And from the reputation of this firm it doesn’t seem like you’ve been doing much of that. Now’s your chance.” Sonny held out the file folder in his hand. “Please, just look at it.”

Rafael admired his boldness, and the earnestness in his eyes reminded him of himself many years ago, so he took the file. “Get in.”

“Um, what?”

“I’m running late for an appointment. Get in.” Rafael ducked in the car and Sonny looked over at Fin who just shrugged. Hesitating only another moment, Sonny slid into the backseat next to Barba, who was now leafing through the file. “Tell me, Mr. Carisi, what do you do when you’re not in class?”

“Oh, um,” Sonny was thrown off by the question. “I volunteer at Legal Aid, that’s how I found this case.”

“And what do you do for money?” Rafael asked, finally looking up from the file.

“I temp here and there, you know, answer phones, filing, I was a bike messenger for awhile, but that didn’t really work out. What’s that have to do with you taking the case?”

Barba didn’t bother to answer. “What’s your typing speed? Can you run a calendar?”

“According to the temp agency test it was 85 words per minute and I’m pretty sure anyone with half a brain can run a calendar, but I don’t really see what that has to do with--”

“This case looks promising, and I’m willing to take it on, if you do something for me.” Rafael fixed him with the look he used when sitting across from opposing counsel and Sonny’s cheeks turned pink.

“Um...what did you have in mind? Because I’m not really sure that--”

“I want you to come work for me. As my legal secretary. You seem smart and capable of handling the admin responsibilities and you obviously have knowledge of the law, which would get Olivia off my back.”

“Olivia Benson?” Sonny’s eyes widened at the thought of working in the same building as the infamous lawyer. “I don’t know, I mean...There are people probably more qualified than I am.”

“It will give us a chance to work together on your case, and I can start you out at $90,000, that’s better than any other firm in the city,” he said proudly as Fin pulled the car to a stop, having reached their destination.

Sonny knew he would be an idiot to turn down that kind of money, law school wasn’t cheap. “Okay, yeah, sure.”

“Great, see you Monday.” And with that Barba was out of the car, Fin closing the door behind him.

Sonny took a deep breath, trying to process all that had happened. He was going to get to build his class action, would get to actually help people in a significant way without yet graduating law school, and all he had to do was answer some phones and do a little legal research? It was almost too good to be true.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “I got my class action, you got to show Olivia that you’re capable of not sleeping with your legal secretary." He shrugged. "Let’s just cut our losses.”
> 
> “You’re serious?”
> 
> Sonny nodded. “Yes. Please consider this my two weeks notice.”

**Two Weeks Later  
**  
“Mr. Barba.” Sonny sat up straight at his desk when Rafael emerged from his office for the first time that day. “I found some more plaintiffs for our class action. We just need to set up intervi-”

“Let me ask you something, Mr. Carisi. Which one of these do you prefer?” Barba interrupted, holding out two white envelopes.

“What do you mean?”

“It’s for my new personalized stationery,” Rafael said as if it should be obvious.

“Is this a trick question?” Sonny felt like he was being tested and was probably going to fail. “They Iook exactIy the same to me.”

“No, not at all. This is a linen finish.” Barba held out one envelope and then the other. “And this is a watermarked vellum finish.” 

“Um, well…” Sonny leaned forward, staring at the envelopes still trying to see a difference and finding none. Finally, he took one envelope, licking the flap tentatively before handing it back and repeating the action with the second envelope. “That one.” He pointed toward the first envelope. “It tastes better.”  
  
Rafael’s eyes widened at the revelation. “Do you know, I've asked a dozen peopIe that question and you're the only one to come up with that answer. You’re good.”

“Thank you. Now if I could just talk to you about the-” Sonny sighed when Barba simply turned around and headed back to his office, licking each envelope as he went.

* * *

 **Four Months Later  
**  
“Carisi, I need your help.”

Sonny perked up at his desk. “With filing the class action complaint?”

Barba waved that off, “No, not yet. We still have to find more plaintiffs.”

Sonny held back a disappointed sigh. He’d been working all that he could on finding more plaintiffs for Barba, but between the insane hours he was working plus class and still trying to volunteer at Legal Aid, there wasn’t much time. He was grateful to Barba for taking on the suit and for giving him the job, but he wished they spent more time on his case.

Instead of voicing his thoughts, he asked instead, “What do you need help with?”

“You like food, right?” Barba was tapping away at his phone screen, not even bothering to look at Sonny as he talked.

“Um, don’t most people?”

“No, I mean, aren’t you...what do they call it?” Now he looked up. “A foodie?”

Sonny shrugged. He appreciated food and at one point had enjoyed cooking, but those days were long behind him. Now his diet mainly consisted of consuming copious amounts of takeout before passing out on his couch with a law book on his chest. He was pretty sure that disqualified him from foodie status, but he didn’t reveal as much. Instead, he just waited for Barba to get to the point.

“Either way, I need a restaurant recommendation. Some place nice. Just pick something and make a reservation for two for next Thursday.” Barba’s focus was back on his phone so he didn’t notice the surprise on Sonny’s face.

“Oh. Okay. Sure, no problem.” It hadn’t taken Sonny long to learn that Barba had a healthy sex life. Even without the office gossip mill, the man himself was neither shy nor discreet when it came to his many exploits. He was rich, handsome, and unattached. Why shouldn’t he enjoy himself? Only Sonny had never known him to actually take any of his many “dates” to dinner. This one must be special.

“Oh,” Barba looked up from his phone, just remembering something important. “Nothing with low lighting and all of that. Dinner with my mother does not call for romance. In fact, wherever it is, request a table by the door. These things usually end with a hasty exit.”

Sonny chose to ignore the way the tightness in his chest disappeared. “Yours or hers?”

The corner of Rafael’s mouth curved up just the smallest bit. “Depends on the night. I believe it’s her turn.”

* * *

**And Two Months After That**

The words of his textbook were swimming in front of Sonny’s eyes as he did his best to stay awake. He should probably get some sleep, he had to be at work in five hours, but instead of closing the book he took another sip of coffee. He winced when he realized it had gone cold, but that didn’t stop him from taking a second swig. He _had_ to get this reading done tonight. He wouldn’t have any time tomorrow before class.

His phone buzzed on the coffee table and given the hour he knew who it was before even looking at the display. Barba had invited him for drinks under the guise of celebrating the days accomplishment—finally submitting their class action for certification—and as much as Sonny would have loved to have relaxed and enjoyed a drink or two, he had studying to do. Clearly, Barba had decided to celebrate on his own. Though he doubted the man would be alone for long.   

Knowing he’d probably regret it, Sonny answered the call, “Hello?”

“Oh good! You’re up.” Rafael’s voice was clear despite the sounds of what Sonny assumed was Forlini’s, the attorney’s favorite haunt.

“Rafael, it’s after two in the morning,” Sonny complained. Normally he humored his boss, but exhaustion had removed his filter. “Why are you calling me? Shouldn’t you be talking to whatever model you’re with?”

“I resent your assumption,” Rafael went for indignant. “He’s an actor. Who is currently paying his bills with the odd modeling job or two.” His tone lowered to conspiratorial. “Actually, Sonny, that’s why I’m calling. I need you to do the thing.”

“I told you I don’t want to do that anymore. Can’t you just let him down gently?”

“I _tried_ , but he’s not getting it. Come on.” Rafael switched to charming. “You’re so good at it.”

Sonny covered a yawn with his hand and rolled his eyes. “Put him on the phone.”

“You’re getting a raise,” Rafael promised and then Sonny heard shuffling as the phone switched hands.

“Um, hello?”

“Hi,” Sonny began. “The man you are with is deeply troubled. He’s a workaholic who considers coffee to be two of the major food groups and has slept with seventy-five percent of Manhattan.  And yes, he’s rich and handsome, and, like, kind of famous in certain New York social circles, but trust me, he will not remember your name in the morning, let alone make you Mr. Rafael Barba. So take your what I’m certain is a very impressive set of abs and get out while you can.”

He heard shuffling again and some more mumbling.

“How do you do it?” Rafael asked, sounding impressed. “He actually left.”

“Barba,” Sonny sighed. “You have the Franklin deposition in the morning. You should get some sleep. _I_ should get some sleep.”

“About that, I was thinking, do you think I should mention the divorce? I know it really has no bearing on the case, but I bet Barth that I could make him cry and I think that would do the trick.” The glee in his voice was evident and Sonny fought a smile even though no one was there to see it if he lost the battle.

“Goodnight, Barba.” He ended the call before Barba could say anything else and scrubbed a hand over his face.

He looked down at his law book and physically cringed at the idea of continuing to study. Maybe he’d find some time tomorrow to read the last few pages. He knew he was lying to himself, but the delusion helped comfort him as he climbed into bed.

* * *

“So, the motion to dismiss is just pro forma, right? We shouldn’t be worried?”

Barba stood on a short pedestal, turning this way and that to check out the suit he was trying on in the three way mirror, not seeming to be listening to Sonny at all. “What do you think of this suit? Too boring?”

Sonny took in the expensive fabric, the expert cut, the dark charcoal color that held the faintest hint of a plaid. Boring was the last thing that came to mind.  “It’s great,” he said, his voice flat.

“You’re annoyed.” It wasn’t a question. Rafael stopped preening long enough to meet Sonny’s eyes in the mirror. “Why are you annoyed?”

Sonny shook his head. “I’m not.”

Rafael rolled his eyes and turned to face him. “Don’t insult my ability to read people. What’s wrong? Do you want a new suit, too? I can buy you a suit. Antonio!” he called joyfully as he tailor returned, garment bag in hand. “Sonny is going to get a new suit as well. Take his measurements, won’t you?”

“I don’t want a suit,” Sonny said quietly, embarrassed.

With a flick of his hand Rafael dismissed Antonio. “Then what’s your problem?”

He tried to stop it, he really did, but months of frustration finally bubbled its way to the surface and Sonny didn’t hold back. “You! I took this job because I thought I was going to get to work beside a great lawyer, really learn something and help people at the same time. I wasn’t hired to blow off your dates for you or help you pick out your clothes—”

“I most certainly do not need your help picking out my clothes. Have you _seen_ the way you dress?” Barba had the nerve to shudder as if the mere idea of Carisi’s wardrobe sent an unholy chill through him.

“Then why am I here?” Sonny demanded. “Why are we shopping instead of preparing to fight the motion to dismiss? Not to mention the ten other briefs that you asked me to write. When am I supposed to get that done if I’m tagging along with you to stroke your ego while you try on suits that cost more than my apartment?”

Rafael opened his mouth to respond, but found that he, for once, couldn’t think of anything to say. It would probably insult Carisi further if he told him that he was impressed that the man had finally discovered a backbone.

Sonny just sighed and shook his head, not surprised that Barba couldn’t give him an answer. “I have class,” he mumbled, sliding out of the chair and making his way to the door.

“What do you make of that?” Rafael asked Antonio, who had approached again, hesitantly. The elder man just shrugged.

* * *

Sonny stood at the altar among his fellow groomsmen and felt a lump in his throat as he watched Amanda walk down the aisle looking beautiful in a simple gown of white lace. He remembered the day she met Nick Amaro, texting Sonny about how good looking he was and how he’d helped her when her grocery bag had split open on the sidewalk, sending her canned goods rolling out onto Avenue A.

He’d had a feeling they’d end up here someday.

Amanda reached the altar and Sonny tossed her a wink over Nick’s shoulder. She gave him a slight raise of her eyebrows in return before focusing on her groom.

The officiant had barely begun speaking when Sonny’s phone vibrated in his pocket, a series of quick bursts. He thought to ignore it, this was too important, but then panic began to set in. The judge was supposed to be ruling any time on the landlord’s motion to dismiss. What if the class action was over before it even began?

Cheating away from the crowd watching as two people joined themselves in holy matrimony, he slipped his phone from his pocket, eyeing the screen.

 _Get to the office._  
  
_Bring coffee._

_Now._

Sonny sighed and mouthed an apology to Amanda, who was now looking at him wide eyed as he stepped down from the altar. He continued to mumble apologies as he hurried, red faced, down the aisle and out of the church.

He tried calling Barba several times, from the back of the cab, from in line at the coffee shop around the corner from the office, even on his way up the elevator once in the building, but he didn’t answer. He didn’t know what he’d do if their case was dead in the water. He’d assured so many people that he’d be getting them justice. He couldn’t bear the thought of looking them in the eye and telling them he’d failed.

“Oh, good. You’re here,” Barba said calmly from behind his desk, reaching out a hand for the coffee Sonny proffered. It was only as he took a sip that he clocked Sonny’s attire. “Nice tux. Have you started butling on the side?”

“I was at a wedding. In a wedding,” Sonny corrected before hurrying on. “Is it the class action. Did the judge grant their motion?”

“You were in a wedding?” Barba was incredulous. “What the hell are you doing here?”

“Your text seemed urgent. The motion?” Sonny was impatient, feeling like his entire future hung in the balance.

“Oh, that.” Barba waved a hand. “The judge ruled this morning. We officially have a certified class action.”

The relief was so great that it took a moment for Sonny to question why he was standing there. “Then what’s the problem?”

“Oh, right.” Barba held up his legal pad only a few lines were filled in and most of those were scratched out. “I have to speak at that fundraiser tomorrow and I don’t have a single thing. It has to be good, and apparently joke free. I don’t want to end up a meme again. I _hate_ that Fin was right about the podiatry joke.”

Sonny felt his cheeks go warm as anger began in his chest and radiated out through his veins. “ _That’s_ what you called me out of a wedding for? I’m missing my best friend getting married because of some stupid _speech_?”

“Okay, first of all, I didn’t know you were in a wedding. And you’re being kind of rude. I don’t believe the starving kids in Africa to whom we donated hundreds of thousands of dollars would think it was stupid.”

“Yes, I’m sure those children are so grateful for a bunch of rich New Yorkers to get to rub elbows and drink Cristal.” Sonny rolled his eyes.

“Besides,” Barba ignored his jab. “I’ll be speaking as a representative of Benson, Buchanan, & Hassler and that includes you.”

“Not anymore.” Sonny's voice was quiet, but resolute. 

“What?”

“I got my class action, you got to show Olivia that you’re capable of not sleeping with your legal secretary." He shrugged. "Let’s just cut our losses.”

“You’re serious?”

Sonny nodded. “Yes. Please consider this my two weeks notice.”

Rafael frowned. “So now that you got what you wanted, you’re going to bail? How ungrateful.”

“Ungrateful?”

“Yes, ungrateful. I hired you on the spot, gave you a great salary, an insight into the legal world you’d never get at that desolate Legal Aid clinic. What more could a law student want?”

“Sleep? Respect? The chance to see his best friend get married?” Sonny rattled off.

“I told you I didn’t _know_ —You know what, no. You’re the one who kept your phone on, who checked your phone while you were in a wedding. You like the excitement of the job. You like that I rely on you so much.” Barba was smug in his realization.

Sonny’s shoulders slumped. “Maybe you’re right, maybe that’s on me. But not anymore. I’m done. Goodbye, Rafael.” With that he turned and walked from the office, leaving Rafael dumbfounded.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “I know what you’re trying to do and it’s pathetic.” Rafael said, striding over to stand behind his desk, but not sitting down. “And most of all, it won’t work.”
> 
> “What are you talking about?”
> 
> “Playing dumb doesn’t look good on you, so give it up,” Rafael admonished. “You think if you piss off Olivia, she’ll make me fire you. Well, it’s going to take a lot more than coming into work ‘drunk’ to make that happen. If that were the case I would have been fired years ago.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you to those of you who have continued to read this. Your comments and kudos mean everything! <3

“I did it, Aria. I finally put my foot down.” Sonny kept his voice hushed, holding the phone between his cheek and shoulder as he tried to fit three meetings into the same hour block on Rafael’s calendar. “He called me out of Amanda’s wedding. She’s still not talking to me.” 

“I still can’t believe you were working for a sleeze like that anyway. I thought you wanted to help people, not help corporations get richer?” Her signal was bad, but the words came through just the same.

“He’s not really a sleeze. He’s just—”

“Look, we’re shipping out,” Aria interrupted. “I gotta go, okay?”

Sonny abandoned Barba’s calendar to hold the phone in his hand, as if pressing it closer to his ear could stop her from going. “Okay, but don’t fall in love with any good looking marine biologists, okay?”

Aria laughed distractedly. “Okay. Bye, babe.”

He dropped the phone to his desk with a sigh, staring at it as if he could will Aria to call back, to talk to him for more than thirty seconds. And even though he was willing it to do just that, he jumped when the phone vibrated on the desktop. But it wasn’t a call, only a new email.

He tapped it open, frowning as he read the words. It was short and sweet, but in the small amount of time it took to get through it he was good and pissed.

Rising from his seat he circled his desk and flung open the door to Rafael’s office before what he was doing even registered.

“I  _ know _ you had something to do with this.” Sonny held up his phone as evidence as if Barba could read the tiny font of the email from that distance.

Barba didn’t even bother looking up from the legal pad he was scribbling on. “I’m sure I have no idea what you’re talking about.”

“You know I thought it was strange that I hadn’t heard back from at least one law firm that I’d applied to.” Sonny had figured with his experience at one of the city’s top firms it would be easy to find another admin position to pay the bills until he graduated, but so far he wasn’t having any luck. He’d been starting to doubt his qualifications, but not now. “But now the temp agency won’t even take me back on.”

“Maybe those firms aren’t as generous as I am. Maybe they don’t want to hire a law student slash failed bike messenger.” Rafael sipped from his coffee now, eyeing him over the rim of the mug. “I can’t speak to the temp agency. They usually have pretty low standards.”

Sonny pushed past the fact that Rafael had actually remembered a detail about him from the day they’d met. He was so self absorbed it shocked him half the time that he even knew Sonny’s name. “You called them, didn’t you?”

Rafael sighed. “When they called for a reference I may have told them how valuable you are to me and how they would be party to your breach of contract if they hired you.”

Sonny opened his mouth to speak, but found that he couldn’t come up with anything coherent. He’d read the contract, of course. He’d might as well have burned his tuition money if he hadn’t, but he didn’t think that Barba would really be that petty. Admins were a dime a dozen in the city. He figured he’d just cut his losses and hire someone knew. Apparently not.

“As you know,” Barba continued. “Your contract states that you’re to work for me either until the class action has completed or you pass the Bar, whichever comes first. Otherwise, I have the right to stop you from gaining employment elsewhere. It’s ironclad. I know because I wrote it. And as the class action still doesn’t have a trial date and as far as I know you are not yet a member of the New York Bar, you’re to remain in my employ.”

At the stricken look on Sonny’s face, Rafael softened by the smallest degree, probably not even enough for most people to notice, but Sonny had spent nearly every waking moment for the better part of a year with this man and he clocked it. “Look, Carisi, we’re—you’re—doing good work here. Don’t you want to see it through?”

“It doesn’t really seem like I have much choice, do I?”

* * *

Despite the stale air and the cramped space, Sonny smiled as he walked through the door of the Legal Aid office. He still tried to help out when he could, but over the last few months he’d had less and less time to spend here. He’d missed it. 

He spotted Rita at her desk, speaking quietly with a client, so he took a seat in one of the rickety chairs in the miniscule waiting area. He occupied himself on his phone, rescheduling Rafael’s appointments and setting reminders to read the documents that had popped up in his inbox in the twenty minutes since he’d left the office.

Finally, Rita was free and she stood to greet him, a smile on her face. “Well, nice of you to drop by.” While there was a pleasantness to her tone, it also held a hint of sarcasm and he couldn’t blame her.

“I know, I know. Work is just...Well, you know,” he told her, plopping into the now empty seat across from her.

“Speaking of which,” Rita reached into her drawer and pulled out a document.

“You looked it over?” Sonny suddenly felt anxious.

Rita nodded. “This thing is a masterpiece. I’m surprised at the level of detail for a position as lowly as legal secretary. No offense,” she added as an afterthought.

Sonny ignored it. “There’s no way out?”

“I’m afraid not. Rafael Barba doesn’t mess around and he’s not really an enemy that a future attorney such as yourself wants to make. My advice is don’t fight him on this, just see it through until the end.” 

“You don’t understand. This job is  _ killing  _ me. I don’t sleep, I can barely get my assignments done, I’m nodding off in class. If I don’t get out I may not have to worry about ever becoming a lawyer.”

The misery in Sonny’s eyes pulled at Rita’s heartstrings. He’d been so bright and full of promise when he’d been working at the clinic with her and now it was all overshadowed by exhaustion. “I’m sorry, I’m not sure what to tell you. Short of going in a deliberately trying to get fired…”

“What?” Sonny asked, sitting up straight.

“Well, of course Barba covered himself there. Just because he screwed you doesn’t mean he didn’t leave himself an opening to fire you if he wanted.”

Sonny grinned, rising from his seat. “You’re a genius.”

* * *

 

Sonny arrived early at the office the next day just as he always did, but this time it was strategic. He slipped into Barba’s office, opening the bottom right hand drawer of his desk where he kept his scotch. Pouring a small amount onto his hand, he splashed it onto his neck and even his wrists, the way one might apply cologne. 

Putting everything back just as he found it, he crept from the office just in time to see Olivia heading for the small kitchen to pour her first cup of coffee. Just like clockwork, Sonny thought, pulling the right side of his shirt from the waistband of his slacks and balling it in his hand for good measure. As the final piece of the puzzle, he ran both hands through his hair, mussing it the best he could.

Finally convinced with his staging he strolled nonchalantly into breakroom. “Liv!” he exclaimed lightheartedly, catching the way her eyes narrowed just the tiniest bit at the familiarity with which he greeted her. “Is that coffee? Thank God.” He took the carafe from her hand and poured himself a generous portion.

Olivia’s mouth twisted when she caught a whiff of him. “Jesus, you smell like a distillery.”

“Oh yeah, sorry about that. I didn’t have time to go home and change. Couple buddies and me shut down the bar last night.” He placed the empty coffee pot back under the brewer. “You know how that goes, am I right? I mean, I know you’re a mom and all, but you look like you can party.”

“Excuse me?”

Rafael walked into the room to catch the tail end of the exchange and his jaw clenched. He grabbed Sonny by the elbow and pushed him toward the door. “Wait for me in my office.”

Sonny complied, making a hasty exit and Rafael turned back to Olivia. She didn’t even give him a chance to speak.

“Rafael, this is beyond—”

He held up his hands, cutting her off. “Liv, I know. It’s not what you—He’s just—” Rafael sighed. “I’ll take care of it, okay?”

“You better,” Olivia warned and Rafael made for his office.

Sonny at least had the decency to look ashamed when he walked in, leaning against the small table in the center of the room. He’d tucked his shirt back in and done the best he could at fixing his hair back into place without a comb or a mirror.

“I know what you’re trying to do and it’s pathetic.” Rafael said, striding over to stand behind his desk, but not sitting down. “And most of all, it won’t work.”

“What are you talking about?”

“Playing dumb doesn’t look good on you, so give it up,” Rafael admonished. “You think if you piss off Olivia, she’ll make me fire you. Well, it’s going to take a lot more than coming into work ‘drunk’ to make that happen. If that were the case I would have been fired years ago.”

Sonny bit the inside of his cheek to keep from smiling. He would not let Rafael charm his way to the end of this argument.

He’d tried all other tactics, so Sonny decided to go for pity. “Rafael, I’m developing an ulcer. I don’t get any sleep because you always call me in the middle of the night. And if you don’t call me, I’m still awake thinking about you.” Rafael’s eyebrows raised at that and Sonny rushed to clarify. “Not like that, but in a ‘why bother going to sleep because my phone is just going to ring any minute way.’ I’m going to fail out of law school.

“And maybe worst of all, this morning was the first time in my entirely life that I presented myself as anything less than my best and I hate that. I hate that one of the best lawyers in the country now thinks that I’m a fuck up. I  _ hate  _ it.”

“I won’t call you in the middle of the night anymore,” Barba offered as a compromise.

Sonny just gave him a look. “Yes, you will.”

“You’re right, I will,” Rafael admitted and at least had the decency to look sheepish.

“I just don’t think that we can be together anymore. Professionally.”

Sonny could see the moment Barba gave up the fight in the way his shoulders dropped and his face softened, a rare look on the attorney. “Fine. You win. Just help me find your replacement.”

“Thank you,” Sonny clapped his hands together in front of his chest, the gesture of an answered prayer. “I will find you someone amazing. Someone better than me, which won’t be hard because I’m not that great. You’ll see.”

“Yeah, yeah.” With a flick of his hand, Rafael dismissed him, but then stopped him before he reached the door. “Oh, and Carisi?”

“Yeah?” Sonny spun to face him.

“I’ll clear things up with Liv. You don’t deserve for anyone to think less of you than you are.”

Sonny suddenly felt a lump in his throat, completely shocked by this part of Barba that he’d never seen before. He swallowed. “Wow, um, thank you.”

Rafael just gave a small nod in response.

When Sonny was gone, door closed behind him, Rafael finally dropped into his chair. Sonny was whip smart and usually right (not that Rafael would ever admit as much out loud), but there was one thing the man had been wrong about. He wouldn’t be able to find someone better because there was no one better, but that didn’t much matter now.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Maybe I’m just bad in bed,” he mused, looking out over the water.
> 
> “Yeah, maybe,” Rafael agreed.
> 
> Sonny scoffed, turning to look at him. “Fuck you, I’m great in bed.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Shout out to Robin Hood for Jeff and booyahreagan for Winston. You all are the real MVPs. 
> 
> As always, if you recognize any lines or situations, they aren't mine. 
> 
> Hope you enjoy!

“Ready to go?” 

Sonny looked up from his computer screen to find Rafael standing at his desk, briefcase in hand. They’d had this meeting scheduled for awhile, but up until this moment he’d been expecting Rafael to cancel.

There was an elderly woman on Staten Island who might make a good plaintiff for their class action, but it was difficult for her to travel into the city. In a move that Sonny hadn’t expected, Rafael had offered to go to her. Yes, it was because he thought a poor old lady who had been kicked out her home would help turn the jury in their favor, but Sonny chose to focus on the generosity in the offer.

Sonny had been along for most of the other interviews, and had already expected to attend this one, but Barba had made it a point to insist he join him, claiming he needed a translator. Sonny had merely rolled his eyes, his go-to response for most things Rafael said.

They met Fin at the car and rode silently, each tapping away at their phones, until they were on the Verrazano Bridge.

“Nope, can’t do it,” Rafael said with a shake of his head.

“Do what?” Sonny asked, finishing up an email.

“I can’t for the life of me think of the last time I was on Staten Island. Have I ever been to Staten Island?” He truly couldn’t be sure.

“We should have taken the ferry then. Given you the full experience.”

Barba physically shuddered at the thought and made it a point to ignore Fin’s laughter from the driver’s seat.

When they arrived, Sonny noted that the house was small, but seemed to be well-kept. He knew from the file that Mrs. Hernandez now lived with her daughter and son-in-law, having been evicted from her apartment in Brooklyn, where she’d lived for nearly twenty years. He was happy, at least, that she’d had some place to go. Some of their plaintiffs hadn’t been as lucky.

“Thank you for coming, Mr. Barba,” Mrs. Hernandez thanked him once they were all seated in the living room. “My daughter and her husband both work during the day, and it’s hard for me to get into the city by myself these days.”

“It’s no problem at all, Mrs. Hernandez,” Rafael assured her and surprisingly he sounded genuine. “Now, as you know, we’re just here to ask you some questions about your previous landlord.”

Her face twisted at the mention of the landlord, but she simply nodded. Sonny pegged her for a ‘if you can’t say anything nice…’ type. “Of course. What do you need to know?”

As Sonny sat, taking notes, throughout the interview he found himself surprised with how gentle Rafael was. He’d seen Rafael be sharp, demanding, charming, and even playful, but he’d never seen him like this—soft and patient. He listened politely as Mrs. Hernandez would go off on tangents about neighbors she’d been close to in her old building or how her granddaughter was the best ballet dancer in her age group, never rushing the woman or acting like he didn’t care.

He could have had selfish motives, hoping to fall into good favor with her so she’d testify for them, but Sonny didn’t think that was the reason. Once, in an attempt to prove to Sonny that Rafael was a human being, Olivia’s long time assistant, Carmen, had told him about Rafael’s grandmother passing away the year before. They’d been close and he’d taken it hard. He was away from the office for a week, the first time he’d taken any time off in years.

It wasn’t until now, as he looked over at the two, Rafael chuckling at something Mrs. Hernandez had said, that Sonny could imagine Rafael grieving. Even when Carmen had relayed the story, he couldn’t imagine him ever carrying about anyone that much. Now he wondered if the man was reminded of his grandmother and if it hurt or was a pleasant reminder of the good times they’d shared together. Sonny hoped it was the latter.

* * *

“So,” Barba said later when they stepped out of the house, taking in the quiet street. “This is where you’re from?”

Sonny nodded. “My parents’ house is only a few streets over from here actually.”

“You could take the rest of the day, if you want,” Rafael offered. “Stay and visit them. Just expense an Uber back to the city.”

“Nah,” Sonny shrugged. “That’s okay, but thanks.” He started down the sidewalk to the car and Rafael followed, curious.

“So, you and your parents don’t get along?” Rafael asked once they were both in the backseat.

“No, we get along fine. It’s just that,” Sonny took a deep breath, “they can be a lot and I’ve got enough going on right now without listening to them complain about my life choices.”

This intrigued Rafael. “They don’t approve of you becoming a lawyer? That’s most parent’s dream.”

“No, they’re happy about that. I just think that they don’t think I’ll finish.” Barba raised an eyebrow at that and Sonny sighed. “After college I kind of just...floated from job to job, none of them very good and nothing I could really make a career out of. It bothered them, they’d spent all this money for me to get a degree and I didn’t do anything with it. I mean, you don’t really need a Crim degree to work the ticket desk at the Empire State building or to temp, ya know?

“But the whole time, all those jobs, I was just saving up for law school. They’d already done so much, I couldn’t ask them to pay for that too. But they think it’s just another one of my ‘phases’” He shrugged again, looking over at Rafael. “And that’s nothing compared to their opinions on my personal life.” He said it as a joke, trying to lighten the mood that had fallen heavy over the car, but Rafael actually found himself interested in Carisi’s backstory. It also made him realize how little he knew about him and he felt a bit guilty for that.

“They don’t approve of the hippie, Greenpeacer? What’s her name?”

Sonny rolled his eyes. “Aria. And she’s not a hippie; she’s doing good work. They like her okay, but they’ve only met her once because she’s always gone. But anyway, she’s not the problem. The two boyfriends I had before her were.” He kept his eyes on Barba so he could watch it land, but either the lawyer had already had his suspicions, or his poker face was even better than Sonny thought, because his face didn’t change in the slightest.

“Been there,” was all he said in response before turning to look out the window.

* * *

“I seem to recall you bragging about finding me a top notch replacement,” Rafael said as Sonny deposited a styrofoam container on his desk the next day. “So what’s with the parade of idiots you made me spend my morning interviewing?”

“That last one wasn’t too bad,” Sonny sat on the other side of Rafael’s desk, opening up his own container.

“Oh, so that’s our standard now?” Rafael lifted the bun off of his burger and Sonny wordlessly plucked the tomato from it, placing it on his own. “Not too bad?”

“No, I’m just saying…” Sonny trailed off as Barba reached across the desk and took Sonny’s pickle spear. “It’s not as bleak as you make it sound.”

“Ugh, coleslaw,” Rafael muttered, handing the small plastic container over to Sonny who happily accepted it. “It shouldn’t be so difficult. All I want is someone as smart as you, but you know, who’s maybe a little more attractive and willing to sleep with me.”

Sonny tilted his head at him, an annoyed look on his face as he chewed on a fry.

“I’m kidding,” Rafael held up a hand. “Mostly. Look, all I’m saying is that I wouldn’t be  _ mad _ if he looked like Chris Hemsworth.”

Sonny shook his head. “You don’t deserve Chris Hemsworth.”

“Fine, Liam Hemsworth then,” Rafael said like he was making a giant sacrifice.

“Nope.” The headshake was bigger this time. “He’s also too good for you.”

Barba frowned, cheeseburger paused on its way to his mouth. “What about the third, not famous one?”

“Just stay away from the Hemsworths.”

“Fine,” Rafael sighed. “Can you at least try to find someone competent? It’s almost like you just want to stay. If you’re having regrets...”

“Not at all,” Sonny answered quickly, around a mouthful of burger.

“I’m really going to miss you,” Rafael deadpanned, rolling his eyes at the lack of decorum.  

* * *

“Carisi, can you—” Rafael stopped when he found Sonny at his desk, pounding away at his laptop keys like he had a personal vendetta against them. “Whoa, that’s company property. Take it easy, huh?”  

Sonny sighed, not looking up. “Aria and I just had a huge fight and I think we broke up.”

Barba looked around, hoping someone would pass by who was better equipped to handle something like this, but it seemed he was on his own. “Really?” was all he managed.

“She wants me to join her on the Greenpeace boat. She thinks I’m not doing enough to help the planet.” He slapped at the trackpad growing frustrated before giving up and looking up at Barba. “She doesn’t even see the good that I’m doing here, which, maybe she could if, you know, she was ever actually  _ here _ .”

“Um, look,” Rafael started, hesitant, but he didn’t know what else to do. “I’ve been looking for an excuse to blow of that dinner tonight. Let’s do something. What will cheer you up?”

“Nothing. There’s no solution,” Sonny mumbled, head in his hands.

“Perfect,” Rafael fought an eye roll. This is what he got for trying to actually be helpful.

“I’d go, you know?” Sonny ran a hand through his hair and it took a second for Rafael to realize he meant go with Aria. “It’s not my fault that I don’t like boats.”

Rafael’s eyebrows raised. “Surely not  _ all _ boats.”

“Yes,  _ all _ boats,” Sonny mimicked his tone.

“You just haven’t been on the right ones,” Barba assured him. “I’ll show you.”

* * *

The massive yacht—purchased by the firm for the purpose of wining and dining clients—was docked in the East River with a beautiful view of the Brooklyn Bridge, lit up in the dark in all of its glory. Not that Sonny was really appreciating any of it. 

“I don’t understand what’s wrong with me,” he said for the third time, wine sloshing in his glass as he spoke.

“At the moment it’s massive quantities of alcohol. And...that..” Rafael gestured at the length of him.

“What?” Sonny glanced down at life vest he wore over a yellow rain slicker. “This is for safety. Safety is important.”

“You’re right. Safety first.”

“Yes! Thank you.” Sonny had apparently reached the level of drunkenness to where he could no longer pick up on condescension.

After that they were silent for a moment, leaning against the railing of the boat, drinking their wine, and Rafael thought that he might have finally gotten a reprieve when Sonny spoke up again.

“I just seem to drive everyone away. There’s Aria of course, but before that there was Jeff who left to go follow his favorite band around the country and ended up sleeping with the bassist—the bassist! The lamest one—and before Jeff was Winston, who—”

“I’m going to go out on a limb,” Rafael interrupted, “and say that the problem is that you seem to date only frat guys. Let me guess, there was a Chad somewhere along the way?”

“That’s not the point,” Sonny mumbled and Rafael smirked before taking a sip of his wine. “What’s wrong with me? You sleep with anything that moves, you have an objective eye, tell me.”

Rafael sighed and grabbed Sonny by the elbow as he leaned back over the railing. “Try to stay on the boat, please. We haven’t found your replacement yet.”

Sonny rolled his eyes. “I’m  _ fine _ .” He leaned back again as if to prove his point and this time was perilously close to going over.

Rafael grabbed his bicep, surprised at the muscle he found there given the outward scrawny appearance, and hauled him back upright. “Alright, let’s go over here.” In his malleable state it was easy to direct Sonny over to a nearby bench, the cushions soft beneath them.

“You didn’t answer me.” Sonny reminded him, taking the last drink of his wine and placing the empty glass on the floor.

“Sorry, I was too busy trying to save the Coast Guard from having to come scoop your dead body from the East River.” Rafael drained his own glass. “What was the question?”

“What’s wrong with me?”

“Well,” Rafael said, genuinely blanking on an answer. He was disappointed in himself. Normally he could name at least five things wrong with any person in his presence, even if they’d just met. “You like tomatoes…” He hated how lame it was, but at least Sonny was drunk and probably wouldn’t remember it.

“I’m Italian,” he squeaked in response, like Rafael had insulted his entire being, which, he guessed, he probably had. Before he’d even had the thought to feel guilty, Sonny was moving on. “Maybe I’m just bad in bed,” he mused, looking out over the water.

“Yeah, maybe,” Rafael agreed.

Sonny scoffed, turning to look at him. “Fuck you, I’m great in bed.”

“Maybe you just think that,” Rafael couldn’t help but goad him a little.

“No, I have references.”

“Let me guess, Chad?” Rafael rolled his eyes, wishing his wine glass was full.

“You know what, you should be so lucky. You only see me at work, but in bed I’m an animal,” Sonny insisted. “I’m like a bobcat.” To emphasize his point he made his hand into a claw, tipping it toward Rafael.

In that moment Rafael felt that he deserved a gold medal for holding back his laughter. It took every bit of strength he had, but he managed.

“I’m like a pretzel,” Sonny was still going. “And not the straight kind, the twisty kind.” He wrapped his arms together above his head as if to demonstrate. “I’m a twisty bobcat pretzel.” He dropped his arms, the momentum sending him forward just enough to bump into Rafael. Instead of pulling back, he stayed, chest pressed into Rafael’s shoulder. “I could give you the twisty bobcat pretzel if you want.”

Before Rafael knew what was happening, Sonny was kissing him, mouth open and wet and completely uncoordinated. It didn’t last long enough for him to even wrap his mind around it. Just as fast as Sonny’s lips had been on his, he was pulling them away.

“You know, you’re a really good listener,” Sonny complimented before falling back against the cushions and promptly passing out.


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Mr. Barba,” Yelina stood, “It is such an honor to meet you.”
> 
> Rafael pulled his gaze from Sonny and gave Yelina a smile, shaking her outstretched hand. “It’s nice to meet you as well. Now tell me...”
> 
> Sonny watched as Rafael eyed the length of her, as he charmed and flirted and worked the grin that he’d seen him use on others so many times. All those other times he’d been indifferent, even entertained at the sheer confidence it took to behave the way Rafael did, but now he felt...Well, he didn’t know what he felt, but he didn’t like it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks to everyone who has stuck this out so far!
> 
> As always, if you recognize it, it's not mine.
> 
> Hope you enjoy!

The earth was moving, at least that’s what it felt like to Sonny. Each gentle rock sent a wave of nausea through him and caused the sharp pain in his head to pulse. When he opened his eyes to find himself staring up at a bright blue sky, his brow furrowed in confusion. 

“Oh, good, you’re awake.”

Sonny sat up quickly at the voice, but immediately gripped his head, elbows resting on his thighs. “Oh, God.”

“Thought you might need this.” Rafael held out a coffee mug, which Sonny gratefully accepted. He joined Sonny on the bench, careful to keep enough space between them, drinking from his own mug.

“What happened? What am I wearing?” He looked down in confusion at his life vest and rain coat. “I slept outside?”

“You may be a bean pole, but I’m unable to carry you, especially when it’s dead weight,” Rafael said with a smirk. “It didn’t rain or anything, even though you’re dressed for it. You were fine.” He chose not to mention that he’d spent the night in a king size bed in the cabin below.

Sonny’s cheeks pinked and he gulped at his coffee before tentatively glancing over at Rafael. “Um...nothing happened, right? I mean, we didn’t?”

Rafael had half an inclination to mess with him, but he looked so pathetic that he just couldn’t bring himself to do it. “No, nothing happened.”

Sonny sighed with relief. “Good, well, whatever did or didn’t happen, or whatever I said, it was a mistake.”

“Yes, well, nothing happened, so…” Rafael repeated quietly. They were both quiet a moment and then Rafael made a show of checking his watch. “I have court in a couple of hours. Stay here, get yourself together.  There’s a shower and everything downstairs if you want to use it. I’ll have Fin come back for you after he drops me off.”

“No, uh, that’s okay.” Sonny rubbed a hand over the back of his neck. “I’ll take a Lyft or something.”

“Okay, well,” Rafael stood, but Sonny stopped him.

“Thank you, Rafael, for trying to cheer me up and everything. I’m sorry if I ruined the night with…” He gestured over himself and the bench in one sweeping move.

“You didn’t ruin anything. In fact—” He was interrupted by the sound of his phone chiming. He pulled it from his breast pocket and checked the screen. “That’s Fin. I’ll see you at the office this afternoon, okay?” 

Sonny nodded. “I’ll be there.”

* * *

‘Dammit,” Sonny stood in the break room, grumbling to himself as he dabbed at the coffee stain on his pants with a paper towel. A nice second degree burn and a stain on one of his few decent pairs of slacks was a great addition to waking up hungover on a boat dressed like the Gorton’s fisherman. 

“There you are,” Carmen, Olivia’s assistant, popped her head in. “There’s a Yelina Munoz here looking for you.”

“Who?” Sonny’s face scrunched as he tried to search his brain for the name.

Carmen shrugged. “Said she was one of the applicants for your position.”

“Oh, right,” Sonny said, remembering now. “She didn’t really have a legal background.”

“Do you want me to tell her you’re busy?”

As much as he would love just that, he shook his head. “No, it’s okay. I’ll speak with her. Thanks, Carmen.”

Carmen nodded and went on her way.

Deciding he’d done the best he could to save his pants, Sonny made his way over to his desk, where a beautiful woman with long dark hair and bronze skin stood waiting.

“I apologize, Mr. Carisi,” she said right away. “I know we didn’t have an appointment, so feel free to kick me out.”

“I’ll have security on standby,” Sonny joked, taking a seat behind his desk and gesturing for her to sit in the chair opposite him.

“I know I don’t exactly have the legal background you’re looking for,” Yelina jumped right in, “but I was the office manager, admin, assistant, you name it, at my husband’s accounting firm for fifteen years. I can handle anything.”

“What made you decide to leave your husband’s firm? If you don’t mind me asking,” Sonny added, but felt he could be a little forward since she just showed up here out of the blue.

“Oh um, well,” she began slowly.  “He’s not exactly my husband anymore, or at least he won’t be once the papers are filed. I thought that might make things a little weird around the office.”

Sonny wanted to kick himself. “I’m sorry. That, uh, that must…”

Yelina waved a hand. “It’s fine. But you see why I’m trying to branch out.”

“Yes, of course.” He cleared his throat, trying to get back on track, not that they’d ever really been on track to begin with. “Why make the switch to legal secretary? Why here?”

“Well, this may sound a little silly, but Mr. Barba was in Time Out New York a few years ago.”

“Yes, I know the article,” Sonny nodded, trying not to roll his eyes. He should have known it was about Rafael’s looks and not about the work.

“When I saw the posting about the job I knew I’d recognized the name of the firm and that article came up when I googled it. What he said about going into the law to make a difference, the passion of his words, it really spoke to me. I wanted to be a part of something like that.”

“Too bad it was all bullshit,” Rafael said from behind her. “I’m just a money hungry, corporate shill. Well, at least I was until Sonny came along.” His eyes met Sonny’s and he smiled softly.

Sonny shook his head. “That’s not true. You’re a good guy and you always have been.”

“Mr. Barba,” Yelina stood, “It is such an honor to meet you.”

Rafael pulled his gaze from Sonny and gave Yelina a smile, shaking her outstretched hand. “It’s nice to meet you as well. Now tell me...”

Sonny watched as Rafael eyed the length of her, as he charmed and flirted and worked the grin that he’d seen him use on others so many times. All those other times he’d been indifferent, even entertained at the sheer confidence it took to behave the way Rafael did, but now he felt...Well, he didn’t know what he felt, but he didn’t like it.

The phone on his desk rang, causing him to jump. He answered it quickly, asking the person on the other end to hold, before clearing his throat, interrupting the two as Yelina giggled over something Rafael had said. “I should take this, but Ms. Munoz, let’s schedule a proper interview for tomorrow.”

“Actually, I have some time, I can finish up the interview.” Rafael offered.

“You’re sure?” Sonny’s brow furrowed.

“Of course, it’s no problem.”

“Okay, well,” Sonny fished for something to keep his attention. “Are we still on for the Mets game tonight?”

“Oh, I love baseball!” Yelina said to Rafael. “But I’m a Yankees girl myself.”

“Having been born and raised in the Bronx I’d be disowned if I wasn’t a Yankees fan, but the tickets were free and so are the drinks.” He shrugged in a ‘what can you do?’ kind of way.

“And you take Mr. Carisi with you? That’s  _ so _ nice.” She said it in a way that made Sonny think that she was already picturing herself sitting behind home plate next to Barba.

“Well, for some reason he actually  _ is _ a Mets fan, so I feel it’s the right thing to do.” Rafael made it sound like Sonny was some underprivileged youth that he’d taken under his wing.

Yelina giggled again and Sonny frowned as the two of them disappeared into Rafael’s office, the door closing resolutely behind them.

* * *

Sonny shook his head, taking a sip of his beer, as the Orioles scored yet another run. The seats were great, almost directly behind home plate, but unfortunately they gave him a literal front row seat to the gloating smiles on the opposing players’ faces. 

“So,” he said casually, having purposely waited until the 4th inning to make it seem like he didn’t really care. “What did you think of Yelina?”

“Oh, she was great.” Rafael popped a peanut into his mouth.

“Yeah,” Sonny agreed half heartedly, ripping open a box of Cracker Jack just to avoid looking at Rafael.

“Yeah, she’s not exactly a Hemsworth, but she smiled obsequiously, flattered me constantly. She'd have no problem helping me pick out a suit. Exactly what I'm looking for.”

Sonny knew he was kidding, that he was just trying to get a rise out of him, but he didn’t feel like laughing or engaging in their usual banter. “She’s a little weak on the law side.”

“Yeah, but she’ll pick it up, I’m sure. I ended up taking her out for a drink and we talked for about an hour,” Rafael told him. “She’s pretty sharp.

Sonny felt like he might choke on his Cracker Jack, but managed to swallow it down. “So, you guys went out for a drink and…”

“I invited her to the company outing,” Rafael continued as if he hadn’t even heard Sonny speak. “Turns out she’s a useful tennis player.”

“Well, I can swing a racket,” Sonny said defensively.

“Yes, I’m aware.” Rafael rolled his eyes, shelling another peanut. “Now if only you could keep a grip on it to prevent it from flying at my head.”

“That was one time!” Sonny huffed. “It was hot out. My palms were sweaty.”

Rafael chuckled, having heard all those excuses before. “It was sixty-five degrees, but anyway, thank you for finding Yelina. I was really worried that we weren’t going to find anyone worthy of replacing you.”

“Yeah, you’re welcome,” Sonny muttered, draining his beer.

* * *

Sonny adjusted the ice pack on his ankle before leaning back against the tree trunk with a sigh. He’d been playing for approximately five minutes, trying to show off his best moves, when he’d rolled his ankle. His pristine white polo and matching shorts, bought especially for the event, hadn’t even seen a drop of sweat. 

Ever since then he’d been stuck on the sidelines, watching through the metal fencing as Yelina and Rafael flirted their way through the match. He had to admit she was good, much better than Rafael, and she’d carried them to victory over Carmen and Guillermo, another admin and Sonny’s substitute.

He sighed, finishing off the bag of chips he’d been snacking from. He’d wanted out of this job so badly, but now, as he watched Yelina and Rafael stand to the side of the court drinking water and patting their faces with towels, laughing all the while, he was starting to feel regret. For all of his talk about how Sonny was irreplaceable, Rafael had sure replaced him awfully quick.

When Rafael glanced over in his direction, Sonny picked up his phone and tapped at the screen, grateful for the ever present emails that flooded his inbox. He was only mildly surprised when a shadow fell over him a few minutes later.

“How’s the ankle?”

Sonny glanced up, squinting at the sun that seemed to form a halo around Rafael. “I think I’ll live.”

“Want a ride home?” Rafael offered.

“You’re not taking Yelina?” Sonny asked before he could stop himself.

“Carmen offered before I could. Apparently they live close to each other.” Then, finally glancing at the ground around Sonny, he exclaimed, “How much did you eat?”

“Not that much.” Sonny looked at the chili dog wrappers and empty chip bags next to him. “I was hurt and bored,” he complained when Rafael gave him a disbelieving look, but began quickly gathering up the trash.

“You’re ridiculous.” Rafael took the wrappers from him and tossed them into a nearby trash can. “You really need to get some impulse control. Let’s go.”

Rafael held out a hand and Sonny looked at it a moment before taking it in his own, allowing Rafael to help pull him up.

“Ow, fuck,” Sonny grunted once he was upright and had tried foolishly to put his full weight on his ankle.

“Here,” Rafael wrapped an arm around Sonny’s waist, offering himself as makeshift crutch, and Sonny’s heart thumped wildly as he slipped his own arm over Rafael’s shoulders. “Let’s get you to the car.”

They walked slowly and silently, except for an occasional grunt of pain from Sonny.

“Let’s keep your mind off of it,” Rafael proposed. “Have you heard from Aria lately?” When Sonny just glared at him, Rafael laughed. “Sorry, but I have been thinking about it. You should move on. Forget her. Plenty of other pebbles on the beach. The world must be full of people who’d die to be with a compulsive eater who can’t fall in love.”

“What? I’ve fallen in love,” Sonny protested.

“With whom, might I ask?” Rafael glanced over at him. “Chad or Brad or Thad or whoever?”

“Billy Westhouse,” Sonny answered after a moment.

“Billy who?” Barba asked, not believing for a second that Sonny hadn’t made him up.

“Westhouse. I knew him in high school.” Sonny said in a ‘so there’ tone. “He was the first boy I was ever with.”

“And did you tell Billy you loved him?” Rafael asked with a grin. “Did you say, ‘Billy, I love you’?”

Sonny was relieved when he saw they’d reached Rafael’s car, saving him from having to answer. Fin was off for the day so he could enjoy the outing and Rafael had driven himself in the silver Porsche Panamera that he paid an exorbitant amount to keep parked in a garage ninety-nine percent of the time.

Using his free arm, Rafael opened the passenger door, helping Sonny lower himself into the car. In the process, Sonny’s shirt slipped up just a couple of inches, but it was enough for Rafael’s hand to brush his skin as he removed his arm from around his waist. Sonny felt heat surge through him and glanced up quickly to see if Rafael felt it as well, but the other man looked passive, closing the car door and making his way around to the driver’s side.

Sonny chewed on his bottom lip as they drove, trying to figure out what was going on with him, but he was pulled out of his thoughts when Barba spoke.

“Listen, uh,” Rafael cleared his throat. “I’m sorry that these last few months have been unbearable for you.”

“Not at all,” Sonny shook his head. “Unbearable would have been...bearable.”

If he didn’t know better Sonny would have thought that Rafael looked hurt by his words.

“Then I suppose it’s a good thing your two weeks are almost up,” Rafael said softly, glancing over at him.

“Yep,” Sonny nodded. “This is it. I’ll do the Children’s League benefit. I’ll make sure Yelina is set up and that everything is in line for you to start the class action trial and then—Then I’ll be out of your life forever,” he said it lightly, but the words caused his chest to tighten.

Rafael’s hands gripped tight on the steering wheel as he drove them over the Queensboro Bridge and back into the city. “Great.”


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> He’d almost reached his destination when a familiar coif of wheat colored hair caught his attention. As Sonny turned, a laugh still on his lips from something the woman he was speaking with had said, Rafael’s heart leapt into his throat. The navy suit and matching vest fit him to a T and clung to every toned muscle, showing off his tall, lithe body in a way Rafael hadn’t seen in their year together.
> 
> Having spotted him as well, Sonny excused himself from his conversation partner and crossed the small distance to stand in front of Rafael. “Hey,” he greeted him with a small smile.
> 
> “You look—” Rafael said immediately, but couldn’t seem to finish the thought, a rarity for him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Almost to the end!
> 
> As usual, if you recognize it, it's not mine.
> 
> Hope you enjoy!

Rafael was digging through the cabinets in the kitchenette, looking for the stash of pretzels he’d hidden from Buchanan, the human vacuum, when Yelina walked in, a cheerful smile on her face. 

“Hi, need some help?” She asked, making her way over to the coffee pot.

“Found ‘em,” Barba said triumphantly, standing on his tiptoes and grasping the bag before dropping back down to the floor.

“Must be some good pretzels.” Yelina winced as she placed the carafe back in its place. “I think I have tennis elbow from this weekend.”

“Well,” Rafael said, popping open the pretzels. “Sonny has tennis ankle. Much worse.”

Yelina cringed, probably reliving the memory of Sonny wiping out on the court. “Yeah, that was pretty bad. How’s he doing?” She added enough sugar to her coffee to make Rafael’s teeth hurt, but he bit back the scathing comment that he’d normally make at such a travesty.

“He seemed to be walking better this morning. Only a little limp.” He tossed a pretzel in his mouth.

“That’s good, especially with that big benefit you’re all going to tonight. What is it again?” she asked with put upon innocence.

“It’s a benefit for the New York Children’s League. Olivia is big on charities.” He shrugged. “She pretends the tax breaks have nothing to do with it.”

“It sounds so exciting,” Yelina said enthusiastically, sipping her coffee.

Barba chewed another pretzel. “It would be impossible to tell you how boring it is.”

Yelina shook her head, disbelieving. “Maybe to you, but I’m used to partying—and I use that term loosely— with accountants. It sounds scintillating.”

“Well, if you feel like being bored out of your mind, why don’t you come along?” Rafael offered.

“Really?” Her face lit up. “I’d love to.”

“Great. See you tonight.”

Rafael had only been gone a moment when Sonny walked in. “Oh, Yelina, there you are. For the rest of the afternoon I thought we’d go over the calendar, and then if we have time—”

“Actually,” she interrupted. “I’m not sure how much time I have. Rafael asked me to go to the benefit with him tonight and I have to find something to wear.”

“Oh,” Sonny did his best to keep his expression neutral. “That’s great.”

“Isn’t it? He’s just so nice. You know,” she said conspiratorially. “I’d heard he was kind of a hard ass, but he seems like a softy to me.”

Under other circumstances Sonny would have laughed at that. As it was, he forced a small smile. “Excuse me, won’t you?”

“Sure,” Yelina said cheerily, seemingly too busy thinking about her impending night at the gala to notice Sonny’s stilted tone.

He made his way directly to Rafael’s office, not bothering to knock before walking in. “Hey, I’m going to head out a little early. I have some stuff to do before the benefit.”

“What? Now?” Barba frowned. “We need to go over my speech.”

“Sorry,” Sonny said, not sounding at all apologetic. “I gotta run.”

“We can go over it in the car. We’ll pick you up at eight.” Then, almost as an afterthought. “I invited Yelina. I hope that’s okay.”

“Oh, that’s dandy,” Sonny couldn’t keep the sarcasm from his voice even though he tried. “But I don’t need a ride. Thanks.”

“Wait,” Rafael started, but the door was already closing behind Sonny. He thought to go after him, but only a few moments later Sonny popped his head back in. “Change your mind?” Rafael asked with a smile.

“Actually, Carmen just called. Olivia wants to see you right away.”

Rafael sighed. “Of course she does. Tell her I’ll be right there.” But Sonny was already gone again.

When he reached Olivia’s office she was on the phone, so Barba sat in one of the chairs across from her, looking past her shoulder at the expanse of skyline framed perfectly in her enormous window. There wasn’t a cloud in the sky and the sun bounced off the buildings beautifully. It was the kind of day that normally lifted his spirits, but for some reason he just felt crummy.

“You summoned?” he asked when Olivia had finally hung up the phone.

“I need you to clear everything off of your plate,” she told him, pulling her glasses off and letting them drop to her desk. “Zucker is getting sued for patent infringement and it looks like it’s going to get ugly.”

Rafael shook his head. “I have that pro bono class action starting in less than two weeks. I can’t—”

Olivia waved a hand, cutting him off.  “I need you on this. You know how much Zucker has riding on this latest iteration and how much they stand to lose. They’re one of our biggest clients.”

“But I promised—”

“I don’t care,” Olivia interrupted again. “We’ll hand the pro bono down to one of the associates. It wouldn’t look good if the press got wind of us abandoning a bunch of old ladies who got kicked out of their apartments in favor of a multimillion dollar corporation.”

“Yes, because that’s what matters,” Rafael grumbled.

“What was that?” Olivia raised an eyebrow.

Rafael stayed silent a moment, thinking of all the things that Olivia had put up with from him over the years, how she’d taken him under her wing and made him one of the highest paid attorneys in New York. “I said, send me the files on Zucker.”

Olivia grinned in triumph, not that she’d ever had any doubt that he’d do what she asked. “Carmen will have the files to you within the hour.” She picked up her phone again, effectively dismissing him.  

Rafael sighed, standing. All he could think as he left the room was that he had no idea how he was going to break the news to Sonny.

* * *

Having to schmooze and be charming and give a speech on how happy the firm was to give to such a noble cause was the absolute last thing Rafael wanted to do, but there he was, in his charcoal suit and woven purple tie, Yelina clinging to his elbow.

“I need a drink,” he announced practically as soon as they’d crossed over the threshold. “Do you want anything?”

“Oh, I’d love some champagne,” Yelina said with a smile and he was pulling away from her, crossing the crowded room to the bar before she had a chance to follow.

He’d almost reached his destination when a familiar coif of wheat colored hair caught his attention. As Sonny turned, a laugh still on his lips from something the woman he was speaking with had said, Rafael’s heart leapt into his throat. The navy suit and matching vest fit him to a T and clung to every toned muscle, showing off his tall, lithe body in a way Rafael hadn’t seen in their year together.

Having spotted him as well, Sonny excused himself from his conversation partner and crossed the small distance to stand in front of Rafael. “Hey,” he greeted him with a small smile.

“You look—” Rafael said immediately, but couldn’t seem to finish the thought, a rarity for him.

“Yeah?” Sonny held open the suit jacket, turning back and forth to show off the suit. “I went to see Anthony. He hooked me up.”

“You should have gone sooner. If you’d been dressing like this the whole time, I—Well, you’d—Um…”

“Hope you get that stutter taken care of before you have to give your speech,” Sonny said, a crooked grin on his lips. Lips that Rafael couldn’t help staring at.

“I’ll be fine,” Rafael said confidently. “I’m pretty sure this crowd won’t have the same effect on me.”

Sonny’s eyes widened. “What do you—”

“There you are,” Yelina said pleasantly, walking up to take Rafael by the arm. “Great suit, Sonny.”

“Thank you. You look beautiful,” Sonny told her honestly even though he barely spared her a glance before turning back to Rafael.

“Thanks,” Yelina looked at Rafael who was still eyeing Sonny, a soft look on his face. “I’m sorry, was I interrupting something?”

“No, we were just—”

“Going over my speech,” Rafael finished.

“You know this guy,” Sonny hooked a thumb in Rafael’s direction. “Work, work, work.”

“Oh! Speaking of,” Yelina began. “Can you please make sure I have all of the files on the pro bono? I need to get all of them to Maxwell tomorrow since Rafael is off of the case.”

Sonny felt his stomach drop to the floor. “What?” he asked, but he was looking at Rafael, not Yelina.

Her eyes widened. “I’m sorry, did I—”

“Rafael, can I talk to you for a second?” Sonny didn’t give him a chance to answer, taking him by the arm and pulling him into a corner.

“I know what you’re going to say,” Rafael held up his hands before Sonny could get started, “but I tried to reason with Olivia. She wasn’t having it. You know how she is.”

“I don’t care about Olivia,” Sonny spat. “I care about you, about those people.”

“The case isn’t being dropped,” Rafael defended. “The plaintiffs will still get their day in court.”

“Yeah, you’re giving it to Maxwell, a second year associate, who sucks by the way,” Sonny couldn’t help but add the dig. “You might as well call Mrs. Hernandez now and tell her she’s fucked.”

“Oh, come on. He’s not that bad, and with all of our groundwork it should go fine.”

Sonny shook his head. “You promised me.”

“Sonny—” Rafael tried for placating.

“No, you promised me and now you’re giving my case to Marcus fucking Maxwell.”

“It’s not your case!” Rafael finally snapped. “You don’t work at the firm anymore, which is what you wanted, what you  _ begged _ for, so it’s not your concern who we assign our cases to.”

“Wow. I can’t believe you won’t even try to be the person you could be, the person from the article who loved the law and helping people.”

“That article was bullshit!” Rafael exclaimed, but then lowered his voice when a few people stared in their direction. “Do you think people want to read about a lawyer who helps corporations get richer while putting small companies out of business? No, so I gave them some sappy shit. But this is who I am.”

“That’s what everyone says, you know,” Sonny ran a hand through his hair. “That you’re this heartless jerk who only cares about money and winning, not necessarily in that order. I never wanted to believe them.”

“Too bad there’s not an idealism section of the Bar, you’d pass with flying colors,” Rafael’s voice dripped with derision.

“You know what? I am going to pass the Bar,” he poked an index finger to Rafael’s chest. “And when I do, I don’t know what kind of lawyer I’ll be, but I guarantee I’ll be nothing like you.” With that he turned on his heel and stomped off through the crowd.

Rafael watched him go until he disappeared among the masses and then he let out a breath, slumping against the wall.

* * *

Sonny roamed aimlessly over the city as if walking for dozens of blocks would somehow get rid of the disappointment that he felt. Because that’s what it was. Once the anger had faded away all he was left with was soul crushing disappointment. His ankle throbbed, but he didn’t care. He just needed to keep moving.

He should have known Rafael would let him down, but he’d caught glimpses of someone good between all the bullshit and he’d fooled himself into thinking that was the real Rafael. Why he’d thought he’d been the one to see the man for who he really was he didn’t know. They were close, sure, but that was just a product of fifteen hour work days. They weren’t actually friends. They never had been. That realization might have hurt most of all.

He didn’t know how long he’d been walking when he found himself on Rafael’s block. He stood in front of his building, trying to decide if he should even bother attempting to make amends. Finally, he decided that he at least owed it to their plaintiffs to try one more time to change Rafael’s mind, vowing to remain calm this time.

“Good evening, Mr. Carisi,” the doorman greeted him.

“Hey, Joe.” Sonny made his way to the elevator, stomach twisting with nerves. It was possible Rafael wasn’t even home yet, but Joe probably would have told him that. He almost wished that he wouldn’t be.

Reaching Rafael’s door, he knocked lightly and waited nervously for the several moments that passed before it swung open.

“Rafael, we have to talk about—” He froze when he took in Rafael’s appearance. His jacket was gone and his tie hung loose around his neck, the first few buttons of his shirt undone. Sonny’s eyes trailed to where his belt hung loose at his waist and quickly brought his gaze back up, only realizing then that his mouth had dropped open. He snapped it shut.  

“Rafael, did you get rid of them? Oh, Sonny,” Yelina had the decency to look embarrassed as she stood in her slip, one strap dangling off of her shoulder.

“We were just…” Rafael trailed off.

“Yeah, uh, it’s fine.” Sonny rubbed a hand over the back of his neck. “I was just about to go have sex myself. Well, not by myself. With another person.” He stumbled quickly over the words. “Have a good night.”

“Sonny.” Rafael called after him as he turned toward the direction of the elevator, but Sonny just kept walking.


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “I didn’t sleep with Yelina,” Rafael blurted out and cringed. That wasn’t the way he’d planned to start things.
> 
> Sonny rolled his eyes. “I’m sorry if me walking in killed the mood for you.”
> 
> Rafael ran a hand through his hair. He sure wasn’t going to make this easy. “No, I just...I thought it was important that you know that nothing happened.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This has been quite the journey. Thanks to all of you who have joined me along the way!
> 
> As always, if you recognize it, it's not mine.
> 
> I hope you enjoy!

Sonny raised his hand to knock on the door, but he hesitated, knowing that the person on the other side didn’t want to see him. He thought about leaving, but he was desperate, so before he could chicken out he let his fist fall against the door, rapping lightly. 

He heard shuffling inside and then nothing. He was probably spotted through the peephole and unwelcome. “Amanda,” he said, knowing she was just on the other side. “Please?” He was relieved when he heard the sound of the locks disengaging and finally the door swung open.

“What do you want, Sonny?” Amanda left one hand on the doorknob and placed her other on the frame, forming a barricade.

“Look, I know you’re still mad at me for walking out on the wedding and I’m so so so so sorry. If I could go back and undo it I would, but I can’t. I’ll do anything to make it up to you. I just...I need my friend back.”

Amanda sighed, never one to be able to hold out very long when Sonny hit her with the sad eyes. “Fine, come in.”

It took nearly thirty minutes of Sonny apologizing and begging forgiveness before Amanda finally told him to shut up and that she was over it. She knew he’d feel guilty about it forever and that was good enough for her.

“So,” Amanda handed him another beer before joining him on the couch. “Why are you really here?”

“I told you, I wanted to make things right with us.”

Amanda rolled her eyes, sipping from the bottle. “I’ve been able to read you like a book since the day we met. Come on.”

Sonny sighed, leaning back against the couch cushions. “It’s Barba.”

She barked out a laugh. “Of course it is.”

“No, I mean. It’s not about work, it’s something else…” Sonny trailed off, peeling at the label of his beer bottle.

“Of course it is,” she said again, knowingly.

“Wait, what?”

“You’ve had a hard on for the guy since day one.”

“What? No I haven’t,” Sonny shook his head adamantly.

Amanda scoffed. “You’re full of shit.”

“No, Amanda, that’s not it at all. He freakin’ reneged on the class action. After a year of killing myself for him he couldn’t do the one thing he promised me.”

“And why do you think that bothers you so much?” she asked, raising an eyebrow and taking a swig of her beer.

“You’re wrong.” He shook his head again. “This is about all those people. I gave them hope and now some punkass second year is going to destroy it all.”

“Which is terrible, I’ll agree.” She leaned forward, putting her hand on his knee. “But Sonny, that is not all that this is about.”

“It is.” She started to interrupt, but he kept talking. “It is, because it means he’s not who I thought he was, or at least who I thought he was becoming. Someone who I could—Well, I guess it doesn’t matter now anyway.”

* * *

Sonny poked absentmindedly at the piece of cake in front of, staring unseeingly at the table top. 

“Do you not like it?” Carmen asked from the seat next to him. “I got it from your favorite bakery.”

“Oh, no, it’s not that. Sorry, Carmen.” He tried his best to put an appreciative smile on his face. “It’s great. Thank you for putting this together.”

He glanced around the conference room at all of the other admins from the firm and then at the “Farewell, Sonny,” banner that hung on the far wall, a reminder that this was it. After today he’d walk out the door and never come back. He’d never have to see Rafael Barba ever again. A couple of weeks ago that thought had filled him with joy, but now he could only seem to muster up dread.

“Well, our hour is about up.” Carmen stood, placing a hand on his shoulder. “We’re going to miss you around here, Sonny. Don’t be a stranger, okay?”

He nodded. “Thanks, Carmen.”

He stayed only a little while longer, saying his goodbyes to his coworkers before deciding that it was finally time to pack up his desk. Stepping out into the hallway, he’d wished he’d stayed a few moments longer because he literally ran into Yelina.

“Oh, I’m sorry.”

“No, totally my fault,” Sonny told her. They stood for an uncomfortable moment, but then Sonny cleared his throat. “Well, I gotta—”

Yelina put a hand on his arm to stop him. “I’m really sorry about last night. It was awkward.”

“Oh not at all,” Sonny waved it off. “If I had a nickel…” It wasn’t entirely true, he usually just heard about Rafael’s sexual conquests after the fact. Last night was the first time he’d walked in on the middle of one.

“Well, anyway…” Yelina trailed off as someone else walked out of the conference room. They stepped aside to let them pass and she gestured toward the door. “Going away party?”

“Yeah,” Sonny shrugged. “Guess it’s the least they could do after a solid year of working basically 24/7.”

“Wow. Bit of a workaholic, huh?”

“No, those are just the hours when you work with Rafael.”

“Oh, well,” she hurried to correct herself. “I can be a workaholic too. That’s why I’m vigilant about separating my personal and professional life.”

Sonny scoffed involuntarily before grumbling. “Could’ve fooled me.”

“Excuse me?” Yelina’s eyes widened.

“You work for the company for basically a day and you’re sleeping with the boss. Really professional.”

“That is absolutely none of your business!” 

“What’s going on?” Rafael asked, approaching them. “I could hear you all the way down the hall.”

“It’s nothing,” Sonny told him. “I have things to do.” He tried to turn to leave, but Rafael took him by the arm.

“No, I need to talk to you. Yelina will you excuse us please?”

She looked angry at being dismissed, especially in favor of Sonny, but she took off down the hallway without a word.

“In here.” Rafael pulled him into an empty conference room across the hall. “What was that about?”

“Just had a little disagreement with your girlfriend,” Sonny busied himself with straightening the cups of pens and supplies kept in the center of the table so that he didn’t have to look at Rafael.

“Listen, Sonny,” Rafael began, but Sonny didn’t give him the chance to continue.

“Are you still off of the pro bono?”

Rafael ignored the question. “I know you’re upset about last night. I’ve been trying to call you, to explain.”

Sonny stood up straight now, eyeing him. “Are you still off of the pro bono?”

“What is wrong with you? I’m trying to talk to you about—”

“Are you still off of the pro bono?” Sonny asked again, enunciating every word.

“What you saw with Yelina and me, you must have some feelings and—”

“You know what, Rafael,” Sonny interrupted yet again. “Believe it or not I didn’t take this job to sleep with you. I took this job for a cause.”

“Yes, I know, but sometimes things don’t work out.”

Sonny shook his head. “I can’t believe how easy you’re being on yourself. You promised me—”

“Yes, I promised!” Rafael exclaimed. “I promised and I’m sorry. I can’t control when Zucker steals yet another idea from their competitor. I can’t control Olivia. I did promise you and I let you down and I’m sorry, but I’m human.

“We can’t all be like you, so wonderful and perfect. How are we supposed to keep up? That’s probably why Aria and Chad and all the other frat guys bolted. You’re a saint and no one wants to live with a saint. Saints are boring!”

Sonny stood stunned, the words sinking in and his heart crumbling under the weight of them, and Rafael watched as the hurt swam in his eyes.

“Sonny, I—”

Sonny shook his head. “Don’t. Just don’t.” He made his way to the door, turning back when he reached it. “Goodbye, Rafael.”

* * *

Sonny sighed, the words of the massive legal volume in front of him looking like hieroglyphics as he tried desperately to focus. It had been two days since he’d walked out of Benson, Buchanan & Hassler for the last time. Two days since Rafael had told him what he really thought of him. Two days since his heart had shattered. Something he’d come to terms with, finally, just in time for it to hurt even worse. 

He’d made the executive decision not to think about it, to focus on his classes. It was his last semester and he’d made enough working for Rafael to not have to find a job until he was finished. It made him glad he’d stayed in his crappy apartment for the last year instead of finding a new one more in line with his new income.

It was just too bad he couldn’t go more than twenty minutes without thinking about Rafael. And twenty minutes was being generous with himself, which he felt he had every right to be, considering.

His stomach grumbled with hunger and he finally gave up, slamming the book closed and picking up his phone.

“Hi, Mr. Wong.” He actually smiled at the sound of the man’s voice on the other end of the line. While working for Rafael he’d often gone back to the office after class and then came home in time to collapse into bed. He hadn’t really been ordering much take out. “Yes, it’s Sonny Carisi. I know it’s been awhile. Um, can I get two number sixes, and a number twelve? And can you throw in a couple of egg rolls too please?” He paused, listening. “Yes, that’s for one. Always for one.”  

* * *

“So, as you can see, Mr. Zucker, we think if we just continue to bury them in motions, they’ll run out of money before we ever even get to the actual trial.” Olivia was explaining to the room filled with white men in suits who Barba was pretty sure he wouldn’t ever be able to differentiate from one another.

He’d barely been listening, he already knew the strategy. It was the same as it always was—stomp the little guy into the ground until they were no longer able to fight. It would work. It always did.

Sonny had asked him once if he felt guilty, putting small companies out of business, and Rafael had just shrugged, explaining that that was how the world worked and he’d rather be on the winning side of it. Sonny had just nodded slowly, biting into his sandwich without another word.

Sonny. It seemed that everything always came back to Sonny. It had been jarring, the last couple of days, coming into the office and not finding him at his desk. Rafael supposed it wasn’t his desk anymore.

He’d hate this. He’d be so disappointed in Rafael for yet again choosing to take the side of the morally reprehensible. Rafael could hear his voice now. _“But these people_ _ stole their idea and you’re going to punish them further by destroying their company? How is that right?” _

“And while I’ll stay apprised of everything along the way,” Olivia was still talking. “Rafael will be your lead counsel, and as you know from past cases, you’ll be in excellent hands.”

“Actually,” Rafael looked up at the group for the first time since the meeting had begun. “You won’t.”

“What?” Olivia asked sharply.

“I’m sorry,” Rafael stood. “I have to go.”

“Excuse me, gentleman,” Olivia held up her hands in apology. “Just a moment.” She followed Rafael out into the hallway. “What the hell are you doing?”

“What I should have done a long time ago.”

* * *

Sonny bent over a stack of paperwork at his desk at Legal Aid, concentrating on printing neat letters into perfectly square boxes. He’d been going stir crazy in his apartment, actually having caught up on all of his reading for class and had talked Rita into letting him volunteer again. She’d given him a lot of shit, but hadn’t made him beg too much, and he appreciated that. She’d given him the mountain of forms as penance, but he actually liked it. It was mind numbing work, just what he needed. 

He heard the door open, but didn’t bother to look up, at least not until he heard Rita’s disdainful voice utter the last name he’d expected.

“Rafael Barba. Are you lost?”

Sonny’s head shot up then and there he was, looking just as he always had in his tailored suit and colorful tie, the swoop of hair with its hints of gray perfectly in place. It made Sonny angry that he still looked so good.

“Rita,” Rafael greeted her. “I actually came to see Sonny.”

“You haven’t done enough damage there?” Rita raised an eyebrow.

Sonny wanted to scoff. She didn’t know the half of it. For his part, Rafael ignored her and took the two steps required to put himself in front of Sonny’s desk. “Can we talk?”

“I’m working,” Sonny said forcefully.

“I see that. And I know Rita’s a hardass, but, ” he shot Rita a glance before turning back to Sonny, “I’m sure she’ll let you take a break for a few minutes. Please?”

There was something in the pleading tone of his voice and the desperate look in his green eyes that had Sonny giving in. “Fine, but just for a few minutes.”

Rafael nodded and silently followed Sonny out onto the sidewalk. When they stopped, tucked up close to the building to not block the walkway, Sonny just stared at him, arms crossed.

“I didn’t sleep with Yelina,” Rafael blurted out and cringed. That wasn’t the way he’d planned to start things.

Sonny rolled his eyes. “I’m sorry if me walking in killed the mood for you.”

Rafael ran a hand through his hair. He sure wasn’t going to make this easy. “No, I just...I thought it was important that you know that nothing happened.”

Sonny didn’t respond, just blinked, but Rafael thought he could see the hard line of his jaw softening just a bit.

“Look,” Rafael took a deep breath, “the things I said to you. They were cruel and they weren’t true and I think I was just hating myself so much for letting you down that I lashed out.”

“No,” Sonny shook his head. “It’s my fault. I was trying so hard to believe that you’re someone that you’re not and I shouldn’t have.”

“That’s the thing,” Rafael looked up at him. “You make me want to be that person from the article, the lawyer I wanted to be when I was first starting out, the lawyer I know you’ll be, because maybe that guy would be worthy of you. And that’s all I want, Sonny, to be worthy of you.”

Sonny’s eyes widened and he opened his mouth to speak, but nothing came out. Rafael didn’t know if that was a good sign or not, but he’d come here for a reason so he pushed forward. “What I’m trying to say is, I love you. I’m  _ in _ love with you. I’m not sure when it happened exactly, all I know is that at some point you became everything to me and these last few days without you have been completely unbearable.”

The weight that had been residing in Sonny’s chest ever since the night he’d walked in on Rafael and Yelina seemed to disappear with the words hovering between them. It was all he wanted, he realized now, and he was almost afraid to believe that it was really happening.

“Would you say something?” Rafael practically begged, his heart thumping nervously in his chest.

“Oh, yeah,” Sonny said with a grin, almost like he’d forgotten. “I love you, too.”

Rafael’s frame visibly relaxed with relief, a smile spreading across his face, and then he was pulling Sonny to him, one hand on his hip and the other on the back of his neck. It was nothing like their kiss on the boat. It was soft and sweet and held the promise of things yet to come.

“Oh, I should tell you,” Rafael said when they’d pulled apart, but still remained pulled in close. “I resigned and I’m going to start my own firm. Olivia agreed to let me keep your case, not that I know how we’re going to fight it with no money, but—”

Sonny’s grin was even wider now and he couldn’t resist pulling Rafael in for another kiss. “We’ll figure it out.”

“Ok, good,” Rafael said, his lips still hovering near Sonny’s. “And now, I’d very much like to discuss that whole bobcat pretzel thing.”

“Oh, I was just kidding,” Sonny told him. “I’m actually allergic to bobcats.”

“How disappointing,” Rafael lamented, but kissed him anyway.

“But,” Sonny said, pulling away to whisper near Rafael’s ear. “I can do the pretzel.”

* * *

“Mr. Wong,” Sonny greeted the man on the other end of the line cheerfully. “It’s Sonny Carisi. Can I please get one number thirteen, two number sevens...I need three number eights, no garlic. And one number five. Oh, and a number eleven please.” 

As he listened to Mr. Wong ask the same question he always did, Sonny looked over at Rafael who was sitting on Sonny’s couch, flipping aimlessly through one of his textbooks, and a smile spread across his face. “No, actually, it’s for two.”


End file.
